Finding Balance

At the beginning of the year, I decided to take my carbs & protein just enough for my daily activities. I don't think I'd need a huge or heavy meals to tie me over for the next couple of hours or so. I've learned to take small batches of meals in between hours so I'd be full throughout the entire day. It curbs my eating tendencies to eat junk foods & cravings for anything sugary. Furthermore, I recently noticed that I have sugar intolerance as well. So, I just might as well try to eat or binge healthily.

I had wholegrain oats for breakfast this morning. I'd broth some fungus soup which I'd prepared earlier. Hopefully, this will fill me up till about around 3 or 4pm. By then, I'll try to rummage the cabinets in the kitchen to see if I can find anything for my dinner later.

Wherefore art thou, ......

It's that day of the month again. I'm not so much into this Valentine thing but I do wonder at times......what is love, actually?

You know, love is sometimes strange. When you least expect it that's when love happens. On a related note, it reminded me of someone, someone everyone in this world knows about. The person I'm referring to is Demi Moore. There's just something about her that I like. Then Ashton Kutcher came into her life, somehow I felt overjoyed for her not that I cared very much though about these two strangers. Hello?? Am I related to them? Nope! But somehow you just can't stop feeling the way you feel about certain celebrities you know only through the media. How funny is that?

Anyway, just a couple of years ago, I came across a picture of Demi with both her husband & ex-husband together in a sailing boat *if my memory serves me correctly*, while browsing some magazines in a bookstore. I was taken aback by surprised with that rare picture of them together. The closeness that she shared with both her men is out of this world. One that she once loved & the other, she's deeply in love with. Nevertheless, though quite surprised, I never paid that much attention to details about her life then until I accidentally watched a prime time tv show where she talked about her life & beliefs. My perception of her instantly changed right after that show. I now understand what's going through her mind & the way she sees things especially in her life, way back when her mother was still alive until she met Kutcher. Her story & courage is really an eye-opener to me. I think she's one of the luckiest women on earth to be able to have so much love surrounding her. I think she's very fortunate & bless to be surrounded by all four categories of love; security, friendship, romance & unconditional love which I've always dreamt about. Oh dear, I don't want to get emotional right now. Anyway, I've been listening to this song being played over & over again in the background...



This is just my personal thoughts that it has always been the case whereby at the start of a romantic fairytale like relationship we spend a tremendous amount of time to celebrate our dying love for each other but as time goes by the chemistry we once had starts to wane, the anticipation that you once felt during the first few years gradually becomes an expectation. When those expectations aren't met we start to wonder why do fairytales end here.

The dating game & courtship process isn’t any easier either. To think that many are celebrating this special day but there are still as many men & women out there who are still seeking the right one for them. In my opinion, a divorced guy whether or not he has any kids takes a shorter time to find a single available woman who's willing to make a commitment than for a woman who’s divorced or a widow who happens to have a brood towed behind tends to take a much longer time in finding a good decent quality guy not just any kind of guy who precisely wants to have the same level of commitment in a relationship.

Many a times, I wonder where are all the good decent men? It just isn't easy finding a really good decent guy nowadays *sigh*

They're either dishonest, unfaithful, womaniser, abuser & the list goes on. Perhaps the past seems to overshadow this feelings of mine or perhaps I'm looking at all the wrong places! Duh!!

Sometime ago, I've read somewhere in an article that love can actually happen in almost everywhere. Think about the type of guy you want to meet for instance if you want someone who's athletic, you could go to a soccer game or if you're only interested in a candle-like guy to light up the family look at religious groups. Interestingly, you may even find him at a nearby grocery store if you're at the right place & at the right moment. Woo hoo, how romantic can that be?!!

"Love can happen anywhere & finding it may require you to break away from some traditional assumptions. He doesn't need to be older than you, or more educated, or earn more...to appreciate, respect & love you for who you are"

I don't know about others but once when you're head over heels with someone you love, you had everything all mapped out in your head, daydreaming the ideal family life that you've always wanted, constantly visualizing & painting that perfect family images in your head but unfortunately the reality is - those imaginary images don't always turn out the way we want them to be. Truth is, it isn't always a fairytale love ending stories in many relationships that I know of. Except for those few lucky ones out there, I guess.

I've long buried the thoughts of seeking a new lease of life along with my broken heart since the incident occurred during the time someone new came along in my life. I thank God for giving me the strength that I very much needed at the time when I'm at a lost.

Perhaps one day, true love will find its way to my broken heart. For now, I'll cherish every single moment that I have with God’s greatest gift He’s given me.

This song reminds me of someone I lost to a premature death, whenever my heart yearns for him I surrounded myself with the scent of his sweat shirts..by the way, Milo's super hot in here.



The smell of your skin lingers on me now
.......
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity

And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry

The path that I'm walking
I must go alone
I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown, full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay