What's New??

Well, after all the struggles & hardships I've finally got a job today. It's a call I didn't expect at all.

I'll write more soon as there aer lots of things on my mind now to prepare for tomorrow & other stuff as well.

To those who're with me during these difficult times, thanks a bunch!! :)

What's Up?

Well, I thought of changing my current template to a new one but I'm someone who's a perfectionist. So, I guess, I'll just change it when am really ready to tweak again. In the meantime, I'm still job hunting though there isn't really anything I could do for the past few days. Arrghh!! Everyone here is enjoying the long holidays except me :)

I'm nervous. I wish the holidays are over as soon as possible so I could resume my job hunting. The past few weeks have been stressful for me. All I could think of now is getting a job so as to end our misery for a bit.

Happy Holidays, my dear visitors!

My Most Burning Desires

That's right! First, I've this burning desire to owe my very own business but looking at all the areas in my life now, how do I go about starting it? Most of all, I'm pretty much homeless & still penniless. I'm sure it'll be advantage for me if I'm equipped with some knowledge & be able to learn a few ropes on how to start my own business. Secondly, as much as I've always wanted to have my own place to stay I can't afford to buy a home for us to live much less a place to rent.

Today is one of those days I'm slowly slipping into depression. Though we're living with my sister-in-law & my brother, I noticed the change in my sister-in-law's attitude towards me. I know it's only been weeks but it has already taken a toll on her especially on the financial side.

At times, when my journey gets rough & tough, the only place I could think of is my blog. I've to say I've very much a private person but where else do I go to express this feelings especially when I feel down & low but here. This is definitely my lowest point in life. Sometimes it takes awhile for me to pen my inner most thoughts in this blog cause I never know who my visitors are. However, I thought to myself I need to let these feelings that I've been bottling up all this time outta my chest. I've to admit here that I'm really super terrible at writing but it's the only way to let release my feelings.

Although, as of right now I'm still awaiting for the letter to arrive, in the meantime I'm trying my best efforts to restart my 'mini project' in order to supplemet our daily expenses. Though, I've yet to get any business from this project, I'm trying my best to be optimistic & positive. Actually, I'm starting to feel that I'm hitting rock bottom!

My kiddo & I are forced to tighten our belts literally since I've no income yet. My heart truly aches for all the things that we're going through right now. There were times when I feel like I can no longer take the hardships anymore but I do know I must persevere for the sake of my only kiddo. I can't leave this earth knowing that there won't be anyone to take care of his needs & especially a place for him to live comfortably with little worries. I don't have the heart to destroy his dreams, his future especially...

Allah, please give me inner strength for me & my kiddo to continue our journey on this earth!

I wonder when will our sufferings & hardships end...

Wonder What The Future Holds

Yes, I wonder what the future holds for us both! I'm still jobless, although I was selected during an interview a few weeks ago to work in a reputable company. Still, I've to undergo a training & before all that happens, I'm awaiting for a letter from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs in my country. Days passed, we're no longer staying at the shelter or commonly known as crisis centre. For the last 2 weeks, my sister-in-law has been kind enough to put us up at her place. I'm not sure for how long this will be. But for now it's best that I stay focus on the things that's going to come especially my work.

Although, everything is ok for now albeit they're struggling as well having to pay extra dollars because of us, I can't shrug off this feeling of sadness. It saddens me deeply & definitely breaks my heart to see the situation that we're in. It breaks my heart knowing that not only am I feeling lonely but also knowing & very much aware that my kiddo is lonely too; without a father figure & siblings to play with. He still a kid at heart & am sure he missed a lot of things! It breaks my heart knowing that I'm unable to provide a comfortable & permanent place for us to live, we can call "our home". It breaks my heart to see my kiddo, with his anticipation to attend school each day with little or no pocket money at all. At times, especially in the middle of the night I can't help but feel warm tears rolling down my cheeks especially when everything is just too much to bear. As always, I keep telling myself, come hell or high water I must soldier on....

Will Write More...

Hey, am still around. I'll definitely write more as soon as my situation permits me to do so. I just have alot of things on my plate right now.