My Most Burning Desires

That's right! First, I've this burning desire to owe my very own business but looking at all the areas in my life now, how do I go about starting it? Most of all, I'm pretty much homeless & still penniless. I'm sure it'll be advantage for me if I'm equipped with some knowledge & be able to learn a few ropes on how to start my own business. Secondly, as much as I've always wanted to have my own place to stay I can't afford to buy a home for us to live much less a place to rent.

Today is one of those days I'm slowly slipping into depression. Though we're living with my sister-in-law & my brother, I noticed the change in my sister-in-law's attitude towards me. I know it's only been weeks but it has already taken a toll on her especially on the financial side.

At times, when my journey gets rough & tough, the only place I could think of is my blog. I've to say I've very much a private person but where else do I go to express this feelings especially when I feel down & low but here. This is definitely my lowest point in life. Sometimes it takes awhile for me to pen my inner most thoughts in this blog cause I never know who my visitors are. However, I thought to myself I need to let these feelings that I've been bottling up all this time outta my chest. I've to admit here that I'm really super terrible at writing but it's the only way to let release my feelings.

Although, as of right now I'm still awaiting for the letter to arrive, in the meantime I'm trying my best efforts to restart my 'mini project' in order to supplemet our daily expenses. Though, I've yet to get any business from this project, I'm trying my best to be optimistic & positive. Actually, I'm starting to feel that I'm hitting rock bottom!

My kiddo & I are forced to tighten our belts literally since I've no income yet. My heart truly aches for all the things that we're going through right now. There were times when I feel like I can no longer take the hardships anymore but I do know I must persevere for the sake of my only kiddo. I can't leave this earth knowing that there won't be anyone to take care of his needs & especially a place for him to live comfortably with little worries. I don't have the heart to destroy his dreams, his future especially...

Allah, please give me inner strength for me & my kiddo to continue our journey on this earth!

I wonder when will our sufferings & hardships end...