I Noticed Something In My Kid

Like I have mentioned early in my blog, I woke up very early in the morning as usual. However, this time I noticed my kid has been sleeping on his hard, torn & worn out school bag every night ever since we slept at the beach. I realized I couldn't even buy him a brand new school bag which he could bring to school as well as a new wrist watch. What kind of a mother am I? I fail as a mother....I can't bear seeing my kid in this kind of state when everyone not only has a family to begin with but I can't even provide both for him as well as for myself & this morning as he walked past by me, I noticed he was wearing a pair of torn & worn out socks which he has been wearing for the past days. I've been telling him to change his socks to another one which I brought although they are also torn but not as bad as the ones that he was wearing but he didn't want to. I suppose he was thinking he might end up wearing a damp pair of socks to school the next morning. Not only it is troublesome to wash his school clothes but also his socks as well. We have no place to dry them especially when the weather is always rainy. No amount of words can describe how I am feeling right now. Our situation has gone bad to worse. That's the only thing I know & I know for certain that I need a job especially for our future but how???

For the past two nights we have been sleeping in a tent but still my heart is crumbling at the state that we're in. I'm afraid if in the middle of the night, some policemen will come by to check on us. What am I gonna say? What happen to us? Why did we end up like this?

I've been like living by the beach all by myself. I often see familiar faces. Morning is the busiest as I watched local as well as Americans & foreigners jogging, cycling & American women strolling by the beach with their toddlers & babies inside the pram. I don't really know why is it that today I felt boredom is starting to creep in very slowly. Probably I have been all by myself for the past 2 weeks with no one to talk to.