The Morning After

It's a sunny Sunday morning, Zack & his friends decided to have breakfast at a fast food restaurant. Upin our arrival, both my kid & I had chosen a set of porridge meal each. My kid had wanted another set meal but I told him that we shouldn't take advantage of their generosity & kindness I don't want my kid to have the mentality to take advantage & depend on otherse to treat him for food or anything in life.

For the longest time in my life, it was the most wonderful feeling having breakfast with a bunch of new found friends. I felt really at ease with with them around me as they no longer probe me with personal questions. When we had finished our food, Sal had to go back to work even though it was a public holiday. Zack too had an appointment to see his kids for a few hours. We then parted ways.

When everyone had finished their breakfast, we walked all the way back to our respectives tents. A few hours later, Sal came back bringing some food & hot rice for all of us. We ate together like one big family. Although, the food was sumptious, I ate only a small portion of each serving as I was still full with the breakfast that we had earlier. Also, at the same time I wasn't having that much appetite. This is because I was starting to get worried for it is nearing the end month next week & I still haven't received any concrete answers from my guy especially to all of my questions that he should have answered by now in order to lessen my worries. I don't want to clutter my mind thinking too much & somehow deep down in my heartI can feel that I have slowly being defeated by the unknown & foreseen situation that both my kiddo & I will be in as long as I don't have all the answers to amy questions. I could somehow sense too that come end month this will not be over just yet! I really don't know when this hardships & uncertainties will end. All I ever want is our situation being homeless now to end as soon as possible. We don't want to ever end up at a home or in any organizations. I just want our life to back as per normal but of course after this frightening ordeal is over & I'm able to get back on my feet I just want to get a job.

One thing that has always been in my mind is the thought of not having a roof over our heads especially when am old, weak & sickly. I really hope that will never happen to us in the future as it is my greatest fear. I'm determine to get out of this situation of my long suffering cocoon. I'm determine to make everything right again except for one thing of course which is to have finally found a true gentleman to fill this empty & lonely heart yet at the same time someone who is willing to be a loving father figure to my kiddo. I've place my faith in him although I have already & slowly given up hope on this particular issue. I no longer feel that I should care about myself. The only thing that's left with me is making sure that my kid is happy.

Anyway, the story about this Sunday afternoon continues...

After I had taken our lunch which Sal & her friends had brought, I went back to my tent. Several hours went by peacefully but then I saw both Sal & Zack approaching me. I saw Sal holding what looks like a paper packet in pink. I thought nothing of it. Sal approached me straight away. I was kinda surprised & touched. My voice started to choked in sadness as I tried to hold my tears from streaming down my cheeks. I realized that Sal had been collecting some cash amongst her friends. The cash was meant as a gift to us so we could use it for the next coming days. I was truly touched by the gestures. They really have a big heart. I told them honestly that's the last thing I need & on my mind. As we continued our conversation, there was at one point where both of us could no longer hold back our tears. Zack then started telling his story about his relationship with his children. How he is only allowed to see his children once a year. I guess, each one of us has a story to tell. The day went by with all of us having dinner..