Lonely, Alone & All By Ourselves

I was feeling rather exhausted last night. Sitting by the beach all alone by myself as I waited for my kid to come back from school. The days seem so very long. There were days I had to wait from dawn till dusk. My butt hurts so much. I occupy myself by reading a story book as well as write some journals about my thoughts & feelings for the day. It's the only way for me to kill my free time.

Although, I didn't want to walk all the way to buy us regular drinks as all I wanted to do was just to doze off earlier. Eventually, I decided to go as my mind was thinking about my kid as well as for our consumption for the next day early in the morning. He must be very exhausted, thirsty & hungry. I couldn't asked him to go all the way to the store to buy us drinks as it was already late at night. I left him while he was doing his school work using the torch light that I brought along with me. I came back an hour later only to find my kid was fast asleep. My heart aches again with sadness but I know I have to be strong for him. I know he was not only exhausted from the school activities that he had to do during the day but also we have not been eating healthy nutritious food for weeks now in order to get our energy going. We were basically starving; getting by each with instant noodles for dinner, regular water to quench our thirst and at times I would buy us a pack of milk so we won't go hungry during the whole day. The state that we're in really breaks my heart to pieces as a mom. I wish I'm a mom who could provide a comfortable life & environment not only for my kid but also for myself. The feeling of sadness starts to creep in again..