I Wonder

I don't really know why each morning as I woke up from my sleep I will feel a tinge of sadness deep inside me. Is it because each time I wake up from my sleep, the only person I could turn to, lean on & see everyday is only my kid?? I suppose so...

As I looked over at the calm wide ocean right in front of me & feling the soothing blow of the morning sea breeze, I really wonder...does anyone knows or pause for a moment what it feels like to be a woman with the only kid that she has in this world to be out there having to go through so much in her life all by herself?? I doubt anyone can understand or believe what I've gone through. With no pillar of strength to support us emotionally. Having to figure out ourselves where we should be sleeping each night. With no one by our side all the time we were struggling by ourselves. The only other person to keep us company is the two of us. Nothing beats the real experience when a person has to go through so much in life. Even words fail to describe & compare the true real feelings that I have right of this moment...

My kid arrived as dusk was about to appear. Suddenly, he said, "shall we go swimming in the sea?" I said "Yeah!" This will give me a reason to lather myself with soap after swimming. It's also a chance for my kid to give his mind a rest & relax his tension muscles. It will be jsut the two of us having a fun time together. I know deep down inside him that he felt the strain of me not having little money as well as feeling left out from his friends as they are so much unlike us...

All these truly breaks my heart to pieces.........